How to argue.

It’s inevitable. Sometime during this holiday season, you’re going to have a heated discussion with a friend or relative. Whether it’s due to a few adult beverages or the stress of the season (or the year, for that matter) ideas and opinions will be shared.

The fine folks at lifehack.org came out with a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to arguing.

DO:

Stay calm. Even if you get passionate about your point you must stay cool and in command of your emotions. If you lose your temper – you lose.

Use facts as evidence for your position. Facts are hard to refute so gather some pertinent data before the argument starts.

Listen carefully. Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully.

DONT:

Get personal. Direct attacks on your opponent’s lifestyle, integrity or honesty should be avoided. Attack the issue not the person

Get distracted. Your opponent may try to throw you off the scent by introducing new and extraneous themes. You must be firm.

Water down your strong arguments with weak ones. If you have three strong points and two weaker ones then it is probably best to just focus on the strong.

So there you go! Have spirited discussions this holiday, but be respectful, listen closely, and maybe skip that third Old Fashioned.